(Originally posted on Mar 15, 2007 03:03)
You came most unexpectedly into my life like a comet. And like a comet you dazzled me with your brilliance and your beauty. You blazed through my skies and after a while you disappeared into the depths of space, most probably in an hyperbolical orbit, which means I'll probably never see you again.
It was the best of the times for me. For a few months I was happy like I've never been in my life. And for a moment I thought I would be happy like that until my time comes.
I remember clearly the first few times we talked. You pissed me off so badly (now I know it wasn't intentional) that I almost blocked you twice. And after three weeks we met. I really thought we were just going to meet, I would give you the CD and that would be it. The next day you would become inexplicably busy and I would not see you again. I'm glad I was totally wrong this time. We went for dinner. And it was funny how we had to search the whole city for the appropriately fancy restaurant. And we dined just the two of us in that terrace. And every time you smiled it made me feel like I was looking at a Van Gogh sunset. You have no idea how much I wished a temporal displacement would collapse right there so that the evening wouldn't end so soon. I woke up early in the morning wishing to hear your voice and your laugh again but I had to refrain myself from calling you so early. I waited until the appropriatish time and sent you an sms thanking you for the wonderful evening. In a few minutes you answered me saying you will "torture" me again soon and in that afternoon you invited me for a walk in the park. After that, until we went our separate ways we met everyday with only two exceptions: the day I went to the movie set to meet Nae Caranfil and the day you took your mom to Brasov. We met everyday and when we weren't together we were messaging and talking on the phone all the time. We had nothing in common and yet we couldn't stay away from each other. We didn't even have much to talk about in the beginning, remember? "Too quiet?" But we didn't need words.
Bucharest became a nice place to me just because you were here. I would wake up in the morning, open my bedroom window to that construction site that looked like a Mad Max movie set and I still would think "This is a nice day for the race... Because I know you will call me the moment you wake up" And you did and in that day you wrote the most beautiful words anyone ever wrote to me. No. Those were the most beautiful words I've ever read in my life. They rate about 18 MegaShakespeares in my scale. By comparison Shakespeare's own "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" somnet rates only 6 MegaShakespeares. And you told me you were not the romantic type... Remember that evening in Constanta when I told you I had to change because I thought you probably considered me too romantic and you held my hands in yours and with tears in your eyes you begged me not to change anything because we were just perfect like that, that you needed me to bring romance to your dull business-oriented life?
I always told you that any place is fine when we're together. And I meant it. Even being hit by thunderstorm and cold rain in that mountaintop was nice. Because I kept you tight in my arms. That was the best vacation I've ever had, even though it was only one week. You changed so many things in my life. Even our long talks (after we got over the "too quiet?" phase) in the car parked at the Circus's parking lot when we didn't have where to go were nice. Or driving down that rollercoaster road from the mountains at the sound of Queen? Every time I hear Made in Heaven I think of you, of how you drove, your hands on the stearing wheel and the way you would flick your eyes between the road and me. I know I used to tease you about the way you drove. But you know I was only kidding and I trusted your driving. Remember that day when that stupid kid on the black BMer came after us after I gave him the finger? Your evasive maneuvers were absolutely fantastic! And yes I remember I promised you to keep my hands in my pockets after that incident. And I kept the promise. Until I flicked my finger at that idiot on the black Merc. Come on, you know I can't stand idiots who believe they own the roads just because they drive a black German car.
I was so surprised when you met Cathleen for the first time and she liked you at first sight. I couldn't believe that after just a few minutes she was laying on your lap. And even more surprised when she started sensing you coming and she would jump from wherever she was and she would wait for you at the door. Sometimes she still do that. I don't know if it's because she misses you or because she hears steps on the stairway that sounds like yours. My heart skips a beat when she does that.
How about our nights at the opera? They were so perfect. A Mozart opera, dinner at the Ruby and long talks afterwards.
And the dinners at my place... You were always afraid of making mistakes when cooking for me even though I told you so many times that I love your cooking and it doesn't matter whether you make mistakes or not. I meant it. Even though we used to go to those posh fancy restaurants, the best food were always those made by you. Because the best spice comes from your heart. And the times when I cooked also. Remember the pasta al'aglio & olio, Chianti and Pavarotti? Or the japanese dinner? It was such a joy to cook for you because of the look of delight on your face.
Those were the best times of my life. I loved you a lot. You loved me a lot. I was happy. Everybody saw I was happy. Everybody liked me. I liked myself.
Then like a comet, it was time for you to follow your orbit and me to remain in mine. And the way we went our separate ways was peaceful. We can't even call it "breaking up", can we? You cried when you told me you want us to separate. And my attempts too engrave the image of your face in my retina failed because I also had too many tears in my eyes. But we didn't break up in the true sense of the expression. And I am so glad we remained such good friends afterwards. And as I promised you, I got over it soon enough. And as I promised you, I made new friends and special friends too. And as I promised you I don't keep comparing them to you, even those for whom I felt and feel special affection.
Yes, of course I remember all these things. But it's not because I haven't got over them. Its just that all my life I always had too many bad memories and too few good ones. And from our relationship I have only good ones. I just want to cling on to them because they are the precious few.
Everybody ask me why am I still in Romania, after all the bad things that this country has thrown at me. I'm still here because even though I don't love this country and this country doesn't love me, this is the only country in which I felt loved.
Now I am completely thorn apart between a country that I loved but never felt loved in and a country that I hate but where I felt loved. And between the hope that I will be loved again like you did me and the fear that if I stay here I will die alone like I always knew I would.
But today the bad things don't matter.
Today is a special day.
Happy Birthday.
It was the best of the times for me. For a few months I was happy like I've never been in my life. And for a moment I thought I would be happy like that until my time comes.
I remember clearly the first few times we talked. You pissed me off so badly (now I know it wasn't intentional) that I almost blocked you twice. And after three weeks we met. I really thought we were just going to meet, I would give you the CD and that would be it. The next day you would become inexplicably busy and I would not see you again. I'm glad I was totally wrong this time. We went for dinner. And it was funny how we had to search the whole city for the appropriately fancy restaurant. And we dined just the two of us in that terrace. And every time you smiled it made me feel like I was looking at a Van Gogh sunset. You have no idea how much I wished a temporal displacement would collapse right there so that the evening wouldn't end so soon. I woke up early in the morning wishing to hear your voice and your laugh again but I had to refrain myself from calling you so early. I waited until the appropriatish time and sent you an sms thanking you for the wonderful evening. In a few minutes you answered me saying you will "torture" me again soon and in that afternoon you invited me for a walk in the park. After that, until we went our separate ways we met everyday with only two exceptions: the day I went to the movie set to meet Nae Caranfil and the day you took your mom to Brasov. We met everyday and when we weren't together we were messaging and talking on the phone all the time. We had nothing in common and yet we couldn't stay away from each other. We didn't even have much to talk about in the beginning, remember? "Too quiet?" But we didn't need words.
Bucharest became a nice place to me just because you were here. I would wake up in the morning, open my bedroom window to that construction site that looked like a Mad Max movie set and I still would think "This is a nice day for the race... Because I know you will call me the moment you wake up" And you did and in that day you wrote the most beautiful words anyone ever wrote to me. No. Those were the most beautiful words I've ever read in my life. They rate about 18 MegaShakespeares in my scale. By comparison Shakespeare's own "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" somnet rates only 6 MegaShakespeares. And you told me you were not the romantic type... Remember that evening in Constanta when I told you I had to change because I thought you probably considered me too romantic and you held my hands in yours and with tears in your eyes you begged me not to change anything because we were just perfect like that, that you needed me to bring romance to your dull business-oriented life?
I always told you that any place is fine when we're together. And I meant it. Even being hit by thunderstorm and cold rain in that mountaintop was nice. Because I kept you tight in my arms. That was the best vacation I've ever had, even though it was only one week. You changed so many things in my life. Even our long talks (after we got over the "too quiet?" phase) in the car parked at the Circus's parking lot when we didn't have where to go were nice. Or driving down that rollercoaster road from the mountains at the sound of Queen? Every time I hear Made in Heaven I think of you, of how you drove, your hands on the stearing wheel and the way you would flick your eyes between the road and me. I know I used to tease you about the way you drove. But you know I was only kidding and I trusted your driving. Remember that day when that stupid kid on the black BMer came after us after I gave him the finger? Your evasive maneuvers were absolutely fantastic! And yes I remember I promised you to keep my hands in my pockets after that incident. And I kept the promise. Until I flicked my finger at that idiot on the black Merc. Come on, you know I can't stand idiots who believe they own the roads just because they drive a black German car.
I was so surprised when you met Cathleen for the first time and she liked you at first sight. I couldn't believe that after just a few minutes she was laying on your lap. And even more surprised when she started sensing you coming and she would jump from wherever she was and she would wait for you at the door. Sometimes she still do that. I don't know if it's because she misses you or because she hears steps on the stairway that sounds like yours. My heart skips a beat when she does that.
How about our nights at the opera? They were so perfect. A Mozart opera, dinner at the Ruby and long talks afterwards.
And the dinners at my place... You were always afraid of making mistakes when cooking for me even though I told you so many times that I love your cooking and it doesn't matter whether you make mistakes or not. I meant it. Even though we used to go to those posh fancy restaurants, the best food were always those made by you. Because the best spice comes from your heart. And the times when I cooked also. Remember the pasta al'aglio & olio, Chianti and Pavarotti? Or the japanese dinner? It was such a joy to cook for you because of the look of delight on your face.
Those were the best times of my life. I loved you a lot. You loved me a lot. I was happy. Everybody saw I was happy. Everybody liked me. I liked myself.
Then like a comet, it was time for you to follow your orbit and me to remain in mine. And the way we went our separate ways was peaceful. We can't even call it "breaking up", can we? You cried when you told me you want us to separate. And my attempts too engrave the image of your face in my retina failed because I also had too many tears in my eyes. But we didn't break up in the true sense of the expression. And I am so glad we remained such good friends afterwards. And as I promised you, I got over it soon enough. And as I promised you, I made new friends and special friends too. And as I promised you I don't keep comparing them to you, even those for whom I felt and feel special affection.
Yes, of course I remember all these things. But it's not because I haven't got over them. Its just that all my life I always had too many bad memories and too few good ones. And from our relationship I have only good ones. I just want to cling on to them because they are the precious few.
Everybody ask me why am I still in Romania, after all the bad things that this country has thrown at me. I'm still here because even though I don't love this country and this country doesn't love me, this is the only country in which I felt loved.
Now I am completely thorn apart between a country that I loved but never felt loved in and a country that I hate but where I felt loved. And between the hope that I will be loved again like you did me and the fear that if I stay here I will die alone like I always knew I would.
But today the bad things don't matter.
Today is a special day.
Happy Birthday.
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