Blue, green and shades of red

(Originally posted on Apr 05, 2007 04:13)

Let's talk about embarrassing moments.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your blushmeters.
First let me start with a near-miss case.

 

Flashback:
Summer 1976. I was 11. Eyes glued on the TV. Montreal Olympics.
Got a crush on the cute girl receiving a perfect 10.

Flashforward:
         January 2007. A friend of mine is organizing an event that will award that cute girl (now a charming lady and living legend) "Athlete of the Century". My friend invites me for the ceremony, with the condition that I'd make a speech about my crush of 30 years ago. Hmmm. I'm not a public speaker at all but couldn't pass the opportunity. But... Think about it. It's hard enough to tell a woman that you had a crush on her, isn't it? Now try doing it to a living legend, in front of hundreds of people and national TV and you have embarrassment in epical proportions! 

         There I was at the hotel lobby waiting for the ceremony to start, my knees shaking like custard pudding in a 7.8 Richter earthquake. Then I've been told that due to timing constraints my speech would be canceled. 

         There's no superlative big enough to describe the relief that I felt. No, seriously. If I wasn't accompanied by a pretty girl who I was meeting for the first time that night I would have found difficulty trying to control a major leak. 

In the end I even had the opportunity to meet the legendary lady and tell her personally about my crush on her and amazingly she thanked me in Japanese.
All’s well that ends well. 

So, that was a near-miss scenario.
Now let's get to the main event.
         I’m not going to delve into the details here because the short-short-version is embarrassing enough, so let's get over with it.

         Last Saturday, for some strange circumstances during a party, I had the opportunity of telling the prettiest girl in this quadrant of the galaxy (IMHO) how aesthetically pleasant her optical organs are. 

         The next day I was listening to Sweet Child O' Mine and the line "She’s got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain" stuck in my mind. It strikes me as exquisitely simple and yet poetically beautiful. I mean, we're not talking MegaShakespeares in magnitude here but if you consider that it comes from a hard rock band it's pretty good.
I put it as a quote on my Yahoo messenger status. 

         As if on cue, online comes the pretty girl from the night before. Her first line to me was "Who does?" And trying to impress her and hoping she remembers the compliment from the night before I tell her "you do". 

         Can anyone guess what happened? Anyone? Well... She said "But my eyes are not blue!"

         I guess I blushed so fast that it generated a shock wave. I didn't have a mirror at hand but I guess it started at a shade around 600 nanometers in the visible light spectrum and from there it went gradually up past 750nm and way past into infrared. I am sure of it because my cat came closer to me to warm herself to the heat of my face. And I am not sure if it stopped in the infrared. I suspect that my blushing caused a major blip on the radar at Otopeni and interference on the local FM stations. I felt my brain disintegrate. I saw my life pass in front of my eyes in flashbacks and I had visions of seppuku. And that was because we were talking on IM. I am sure that if I was face to face with her I would get tunnel vision and I would walk towards the light very willingly. No. I would run towards the light and jump head first. 

         This was the closest that I’ve ever been to a near-death experience.
And I am blushing again just recounting the experience. I’d better stop here before the air force sends Migs after the radar blip.

“You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue. Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen...”

         So, does anyone here have am embarrassing moment to share?
         Or am I the only sucker who tells this kind of things for other people's entertainment?
         No one is going to tell one to keep me company?